Thursday, January 08, 2009

Ya gotta get yerself some religion, y'hear?

I can't believe it's 2009 already. I am back from Kentucky: land of the blue grass, beautiful horses and fast women (or is the other way around? Hmmm). And, yes, it is also the huge, shiny buckle of the bible belt. I had forgotten how very huge and shiny it is until I spent 18 days there after a very long time.

Lexington is the home of the mega churches. So there is the giant Baptist church (with services in Korean as well) with its swimming pool and skating rink, across from the huge Lutheran church, which sits diagonally across from the Church of the Christian Scientists. I saw a church that was in an old barn and a tabernacle inside an old Long John Silver's restaurant.

But Lexingtonians refuse to just worship inside their gargantuan churches. Why should you, when you have all the great outdoors? The highways are alive with billboards of fetuses begging to be born, of God Himself requesting (ordering?) your presence in church, the ubiquitious fish on the back of cars, enough to form many, many schools. But I never saw a car quite like this before.

I just got the back view. The side windows proclaimed that "His blood washes white as snow." No quips about anemia please.

I love Lexington. I really do. It's beautiful and gracious, and after Allahabad, it is my one home-town in the world. I lived there for more than seven years after all. So even these loud displays of religious fervor are somehow enchanting. Of course, I didn't used to be so enchanted when the local Jehovah's Witnesses would pay me weekly visits to save my (then so rare in the South)brown soul. It's like Watchtower had printed a picture of me with a Wanted for Christ caption. It must be time and distance that has given me this new affectionate perspective.

The one thing I wanted to do while I was there was to play some putt-putt golf...or rather, to play me some putt-putt golf while chugging some sodie-pop :-). And if mini-golf is your game, how better to play it than to get some religion into it as well? I was totally bummed out that I couldn't putt through Noah's ark, Mount Sinai, Golgotha, or Jesus' empty tomb (He Is Not Here for He is Risen) or turn the rivers into blood (apparently just soaked red cloth or carpeting or something). If you've always had a hankerin' for some puttin', golf your way through the 54 holes of this course. Divided into the two testaments (18 holes each) and 18 based on bibilical miracles, mini-golf enthusiasts love this place. The seven days of creation have a section---with the seventh hole being the easiest since God rested that day. Cool, huh?

Yes, dear readers, I was rained out. Maybe it was the Almighty smiting me for my heathen, atheist ways. But there are always pictures and always a next time for the Bibilical-themed mini-golf course in Lexington. Watch out Lord here I come! Hallelujah!


DL NELSON said...

I find this just scarey...despite the beautiful landscape...

dipali said...

Strange place!

Betty Leech said...

Dear J.S.,
That's not JC you understand! Your dear friend Judy Bussey is also my dear friend and as she sits here by me, I wipe away my tears of laughter during and after reading your story re the mini-golf course for God. If she had NOT been sitting beside me, I would have assumed you were lying just to make a good story and admired your creativity. BUT, she assured me every word was true and that such a thing DID exist in 2009 in Lexington, KY! I-- like Judy-- attended Berea College in KY (being a good Appalachian girl from TN) and thought such displays surely did not exist in the 21st century....actually, I find it both hilarious and depressing. HOW COULD THIS BE???????????? I am happy to have been introduced to your and Judy's blogs and will follow them both faithfully...moreso now that I realize my own ignorance of the real world of Appalachia....I remember the one she describes since it was MY world also, and that is sweet, warm and nostalgic for the most part. I love her descriptions and recollections to say the least. Your impressions, however, will keep my feet on the ground and remind me that the past is still alive and kicking in KY.
Thank you, thank you for your great story (I wish)....I look forward to the next one and the opportunity to laugh or cry at another vivid entry!!! Peace to you and yours,

Jawahara Saidullah said...

Hi all:

Betty, I can't tell you how disappointed I was to miss golfing there. Perhaps you and Judy can...and send me pictures :-)

Thanks for reading the blog. I love Judy's new blog and hopes she updates it soon.

DL and Dipali, yup a strange place and scary sometimes, but there are indeed wonderful and non-scary places in Kentucky as well. :-)