Thursday, February 14, 2008

WTF is this Shit?

Internal dialog

Oh no you're not writing about that freedom of speech crap are you? Say you're not please. It's so done. It's so...I don't know so very 2007. Give it up. I am soo tired of your shit.

But it's the perfect storm, don't you see? Here is the Delhi intelligentsia demanding citizenship for Taslima Nasrin. There are those damned Danish cartoons again, complete with a foiled assasination plot against the cartoonist. I can't resist. I just can't.

And the shit, what about that? Gotcha huh?

Well, it's early in the year, prime nostalgia time, and I started started thinking about the pre-Web Internet (you gasp? It's true. I was there) and the shit and religion list that was so popular, making the rounds of discussion boards. So, here you are an oldie but a goodie, the Shit List of Religions.

I give up. *sighs*

Good. I hoped you would.

A Religion and Shit Ideology
Note: okay, some of them are not about religion but they are still funny.

Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say shit happen.

Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.

Zen Buddhism Redux: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

Creationism: God made all shit.

Darwinism: This shit was once food.

Catholisicm: If shit happens you deserve it.

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Unitarianism: Come, let us reason together about this shit.

Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen, Shit IS.

Mormonism: God sent this shit.

Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

Seventh Day Adventist: No shit shall happen on Sunday.

Agnostic: What is this shit?


Atheism: What shit?

Atheism redux: I can't believe this shit.

Impressionsim: From a distance shit looks like a garden.

Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

And since this is my page, you know you were waiting for this three-pronged nyah nyah to my ummah. Hey, I can say it since I am Muslim :-) Peace! Here is the grand finale:

Islam: If shit happens it's the will of Allah.

Islam redux: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.

Islam.3: I'll kick the shit out of you.


1 comment:

dipali said...

Absolutely brilliant:)