For the longest time I couldn't say the F word at all. Me? Jawahara? When did this happen to me. When did I turn 40? Omg, I am practically an aunty in India. Screw the practically. I am an aunty. There must be a mistake....my parents calculated wrong. This cannot be happening to me. I coasted through my 30's, feeling young and (not so) hip, and now this?
But hey, I'm alive...and healthy...and 40 is the new 30 or so I'm told. And if you've heard otherwise keep that to yourself, ok? Then I got Dipali's tag and that little bit of vanity stung again. Should I? Should I say out loud on my blog....I AM 40. There! It's not like people didn't know or couldn't guess...but saying it out takes something. So, here's looking 10 years into the future. Even though I've numbered the two lists, they are not in any order, just the order in which they came into my mind.
Ten things I hope to achieve by the time I'm fify
1. Hone my writing to be more complex, creatvive, and thought-provoking
2. To live in and work own an orchard (olives, avocados) in the Santa Ana Valley in California...and never move again.
3. Actually believe that age is just a number....instead of just saying it
4. Be a good mother
5. Be better organized. I want one of those catalog homes where everything is in its proper place and looks really neat and clean.
6. To let go of some my fears and just...let go.
7. To read Ulysses (and understand it), finish War and Peace, and read and or re-read all the classics.
8. To publish many more books.
9. To look at my husband and still see the twenty-five year old I fell in love with....even when he drives me crazy.
10. To look around my life and say, "I think I have all I want at this moment in my life."
Ten things that I miss having in my life now, in no particular order:
1. A fixed home, with deep roots.
2. Friends I've lost in touch with.
3. The ability to hike for hours and days and not feel like I'm half-dead
4. My spirit of adventure (I have the spirit, but haven't that many adventures lately)
5. My 20's (they were so wasted on me when I was in my 20's)
6. Not being jaded....I fear I am becoming jaded...the more I have, the more places I go to and experience, the more nothing impresses me that much any more. I want to recapture that "wow" feeling. :-(
7. The disappearing India of the 70's and 80's. It was static, stagnant, and backward (at least in Allahabad) but there was something charmingly steady and constant about it.
8. The pole candy maker: he would take the sweet, flexible candy (can't think of an equivalent) and make it into any shape you wanted. I think I used to get him to make watches a lot. I would wear it and then eat it. Don't think it was too hygienic, but oh well.
9. Green mangoes, stolen from a tree, eaten with salt and red chillie powder.
10. Days spent doing nothing...getting bored...and getting ideas that never seem to come to these days when I have TV, the Internet, and all these books.
There...that's it. I'd like to tag Bina, Sujatha, Deepti, and Amrita. You should do this for the next decade you will complete....not necessarily 50, like me. Ah...me creakin' bones!
And, if anyone else wants to take this on, go for it. It's kind of therapeutic....yeah, really.