Friday, March 27, 2009

Serenity Schmerenity...it's a Colbert Threatdown Nation

We rejoiced when the Colbert nation helped name Stephen Jr. (the only steagle born in the San Francisco zoo). We cheered when intrepid supporters of our little steagle (okay, there were like 10 of them) held us signs at the border with Canada to help guide Stephen Jr. back to the U.S.

Bears might be high on Colbert's biggest threat list (except when he went ga-ga over cute baby polar bears) but who didn't wipe away a tear when Stephen announced he was a proud papa of a steagle and lit up a cigar?

Other things Colbert? There is the bridge in Hungary, Ben and Jerry's delicious Stephen Colbert's Americone, the Virgin America plane Air Colbert. Stealing Stephen Jrs. thunder is the copycat (bird?) falcon Esteban Colbert in San Jose. A spider: Aptostichus stephencolbert named by East Carolina University prof. Jason Bond, and a pair of elephant seals at UC Santa Cruz.

Sadly the Stephen Colbert election bid in 2008 did not come to pass despite his brilliant attempt to hedge his bets--he filed as both a republican and a democrat.

Then NASA decided to let John Q. Public participate in a write-in vote for naming a new module on the space station (the urine purifying room but still, that's rad, right?). The suggested names were gag-inducing like Serenity, Unity, and Harmony. NASA, however, had come up against the awesome power of the Nation.

The Colbert Nation that is. We are the ones who know that there is no 't' at the end of Report and snicker at those who put it there. The ones who know we are patriotic just because we agree with Stephen on *everything*. And the ones who don't cringe when our hero panders to his one and only papa Bear, Bill O'Reilly.

The Nation's mandate: to name the module Colbert, of course. Colbert clobbered Serenity by 40,000 votes. There were over 250,000 votes cast in total.

Still NASA is not committing to the name. They're stuck on their new-age, crystal gazing names. Horror of horrors, they might placate the Nation by naming a toilet after Stephen. No! You asked for our input NASA, don't wimp out now. Name the frickin' purification module Colbert. Come on, do it. be hip.

Here is Stephen campaigning for his name. Watch it NASA and come on over into the Nation.

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1 comment:

Sujatha said...

There can be no Sernenity when Colbert's around!! That's.. that's...just not done!