Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Undead Bread

I love the bread in Europe. At our local boulangerie and patisserie we get freshly baked baguettes. But we can also get fresh bread from the Shell station, any small convenience store. And all of it is wonderful. They put no preservatives, however, so by the next day it's hard as a rock and about as fun to eat. Not that I mind. We've all dreamed of European village life and a freshly-baked baguette is always part of the fantasy, right?

But sometimes I just want some soft, regular sandwich bread. You know the regular kind. The Swiss and the French grocery stores do carry these. And you can tell the disdain in which our humble, sliced sandwich bread is held.

First of all, most of the brands call them toast. There is a difference between bread and toast damnit. Then, as a nod to American portion size, there is one that announces (in a giant starburst): Great Big American Sandwiches. And let me assure the slices are about the size of a thimble, nothing great or big or for that matter American about it.

Now we're back to preservatives. So good quality fresh bread has none. Agreed! But apparently for us sliced bread eaters, they put in a giant dose of the stuff. You know we have no appreciation for anything good so we probably love eating some chemicals with our bread. We are American after all.

I have this loaf in my cabinet. I think I bought it 4 weeks ago. There is no fungus, nothing sprouting, it's still soft and white and flawless looking...if you put rubber and flawless in the same sentence that is. But I digress!

I mean really...bread in the US would last maybe a week without some grey/green life emerging on it. But this stuff...it's the dracula of bread. I think it'll stay the way it is for a couple of months. Yechh!

All Hail the Undead Bread

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sigh, no more breads for me, giving up carbs and all

Unknown said...

Damn! I think, in Europe, people would just give up and die with no carbs. How do the French stay so skinny with bread, butter, cream and cheese????