Each successive Dec 31/Jan 1, I feel more and more tired. As if the weight of my years and the very age of the earth are pressing my shoulders into the ground. It's heavy, the weight of the ages.
It's amazing though, this human urge to celebrate the passing of another year, the horns, the silly hats with jumping lights, the glow sticks. Are they really celebrating? Or are those people trying to stave off their own fears, as if by the loudness of their behavior their own fatigue will be fooled enough to go away, their fears will dissolve? Like a child singing a song in the scary dark? Are they fooling it or themselves?